My girls are participating in a summer musical produced by a local children’s theater group.  There are between 100-200 people per cast, and 2 casts.  Needless to say, an 8 year old and a 5 year old are not going to get huge parts.  In fact, during this entire 1.5 hour play, my girls are on stage the last 10 minutes.

The original fee for this was pretty reasonable for a 6 week activity.  But tack on the cost of costumes, driving to rehearsals, and tickets so hubby and I can watch the play, and we are probably spending $200-$250 combined for the girls to participate.

Not to mention my stress level regarding the costumes(being pregnant really exaserbates things likes this)–I hope the director isn’t going to be irritated that my daughter wants to be a tulle skirt wearing racecar driver.

Is the value for my children worth this, or is the time and money better spent elsewhere?

They have fun.  My 8 year old wishes she was on stage more(and she could’ve been, without lines, if I had been willing to commit more time and costume money) and my 5 year old is just excited to be a part of it.  This week is the big week of the show, where every single day has 4-6 hour time commitments.  But dividing that $100 dollars by 2, they could have each done a week’s camp somwhere else.  Would that have been more fun?  That $200 could have purchased family passes to the Zoo and Museum, with money left over.  Would that have had more of a fun factor?

Then there is the learning.  I would say the big learning here isn’t about stage presence, or acting.  It is that you don’t always get the part you want, and you have to put in a lot of work for even a tiny sliver of stage time.  A good lesson, yes, but worth their only summer activity?  They already know the whole “you don’t always get what you want lesson” from never getting a candy bar in the checkout lane.  Does it really take this kind of committment to learn this lesson?

And yes, we all know “There are no small parts, just small actors”.  Trust me, these conversations about value are not being had with the children, rather between my husband and I.  They committed to being in this play and they are going to do the best darn job they can, and follow thru on their commitment.  Because that is how we role in this family.

But when next summer roles around, you can be sure we will be having a much deeper discussion about time, money, and value with our oldest.

Our family spent last summer in the Snowmass/Aspen area.  While there, Camille, my youngest, became ill.  After 5 days of vomiting and hardly eating, I felt we needed to see a doctor, just to rule out all the scary things that could be the cause.  Like the good little Kaiser Permanente member I am, I called the appointment people and asked “What to do?  I am out of the service area!”  They had me speak to one of their phone nurses, who indeed said “Yes, take her to the doctor right away!”

The KP person told me that I would have to pay out of pocket, but could submit the bill for reimbursement.  I asked that it be noted in the chart that I called and did everything right, so when I submitted said payment, I would be reimbursed no problem.

As this was not a life or death situation, I did not want to take Camille to an ER.  I didn’t know of any urgent care in the area, so I called a pediatric practice 40 minutes away.  They could see her that afternoon.  “Great!” I thought, “I’ll save Kaiser money by not going to the ER!”

Now, its 9 months later.  I submitted my paperwork for reimbursement in December(I had misplaced it).  In February, I received paperwork denying my claim.  What grounds?  Code 711:  Service, Procedure or provider not authorized, member liability  .  Whhhhaaaattt???  All my hoop jumping and they are denying my claim?

I hadn’t had a chance to contact Kaiser until today(sick relatives, morning sickness, a family bout of influenza takes it out of a gal).  I called and talked to a nice young man.  Apparently this is standard practice.  You know, not covering something they are liable for, in the hopes that you won’t question the all powerful HMO.

But if I *had* taken her to the ER, they would’ve covered it no questions asked????(so he says—I think I would’ve gotten stuck with the bill b/c it was a “non emergency” and Kaiser is extremely clear about how they feel about ER usage outside of network).

So, by doing research, finding a regular pediatrician to schedule an appointment with, and in essence saving Kaiser at least $1000-$2000 dollars(we are talking Aspen, here) I get the shaft.  I have to jump thru even MORE hoops to get my money.

I have to have my pediatrician “retro-approve” the visit.

Then I have to call claims back and re-argue with them why they need to send me my $169.

Goes to show you—QUESTION EVERYTHING FROM YOUR INSURANCE COMPANY.  THEY AREN’T IN IT TO TAKE CARE OF YOU, THEY ARE IN IT FOR THE MONEY.

Since becoming a homeschooler and as such, a member of a fantastic homeschool community, I have come to the realization that concurrent, alternate universes exist.  I know this for a fact, since I currently have a foot in two of them.

There is the universe that revolves around how you appear to society-the send your child to preschool, then to public school, don’t question the system and sign them up for as many after school programs as possible because god forbid they don’t make the cheerleading squad/go to Harvard/play varsity baseball in 10-15 years.   Instead of signing up to bring dinners to those in need/whose family is sick/having a baby/etc, you sign up to bring dinners to those who just had a boob job and tummy tuck.    Conversations with other Moms around the water cooler are often about the best style of 100 dollar jeans to buy, how “fat” everyone is(although they are skinny skinny skinny).  Many of the children all have more “things” than anyone could want but not enough of what they really need.  They rarely say please and thank you, and my 5 year old preschooler has better manners and a longer attention span than many older children. 

Before I really knew about homeschooling, I spent years trying to assimilate into this universe.  Even tho the moral consciousness of this universe did not feel right, I thought I was the one who didn’t know what she was doing and whose ideals were “wrong”.  After all, everyone else thought these things were a necessity.  I tried hard and did what I was supposed to do….sent my child to school, talked about what cosmetic surgery I would like in a few years.  But it never felt right.

When I found my homeschool community, it was an amazing thing.  I never knew there were parents out there like me, who didn’t buy their kid something every time they went to the store, used the word “no” and actually enjoyed being with their children.  I met people who cared about the environment, whose needs were not fueled with keeping up with the Jones’.  And I liked this universe.  It felt like “home” to me.  Its where people don’t do a double take when they find out I homeschool and say “I could never be around my child all day every day.  You must be a saint!”  I can actually talk about composting and recycling and downsizing and simplifying and people GET it.  People understand what it is to have to economize, and instead of a push to purchase something on credit I hear what they are doing to economize as well.  Noone bemoans how poor they are while sipping their daily Starbucks at their weekly nail appointment.  There is much less hypocrisy in this world.

I may sound like I am judging one universe and finding it lacking–on the contrary, it fits many people, and fits them well.  It is a place where they find like minded individuals to talk about what they care about.  Its just a universe that I no longer want to be a large part of.  I will always have friends there–people who don’t quite fit into that universe but  fear leaving it for another one, since that is all they know.

I, on the other hand, am counting down the months until my commitments in that universe are at an end, and I can stay in the one in which I fit.

Our town recently opened a brand spankin new library and community center(same location, separate bond issues and buildings).  I am at the library so much that one of the Librarians said I should have a frequent user card!
Sometimes I feel extremely guilty when I use the library.  I feel like a kid in the candy store.  I am a glutton when it comes to those books.  Their shiny covers.  Their brand new book smell.  The idea that i am the very first person ever checking out this book.
Add to that the fact that they enable me to continue to be a user at home!  Thru the magic of the internet, I can not only see what’s in the stacks at my local library, but I can also see what is in the stacks at every other library in the district.  And more addictive?  If I see something I like, I don’t even have to drive to that library to get it.  They get my stash together and deliver it to my local library.
I wonder how many books people without this addiction check out at a time.  I have checked out at any given time(between for the kiddos, myself, and homeschool) between 13-20 books.
Am I user, but am I abusing the library?  Am I denying other fine folks access to books?

How many books do you check out at a time?(please, leave a comment and make me feel better)

“They”(I don’t know who the elusive “they” encompasses) say when you pull a child out of school and start homeschooling, you should give them 1-2 months for every year they were in school to deschool–that is, get their spark and desire to learn back.

We stopped school last May at the normal end of year, and just didn’t go back in August.  During the summer, I let Emily veg/play some video games/watch tv to her little hearts content, and we started officially homeschooling at the end of August.

As i watched the months go by, I waited for something….anything to show me she was going to become self motivating again.  To see that DESIRE to learn that she had 2 years ago, before public school beat it out of her.  Nope.  Every day, she would do her school work, but only if I told her to.  I haven’t seen her try to learn extra about anything.  She doesn’t ask for specific books from the library.  Doesn’t ask to research something on the internet.  Good little public school soldier that she is, she does the work she is given, no more, sometimes trying to get away with doing less, regardless of how capable she is of doing and learning so much more.  She will sometimes express an interest in something, and when I ask if she wants to get a book and learn more, she passes.

I resigned myself to the guilt of having allowed this to happen, and that it wasn’t going to change.  She had lost all motivation.  Learning was a chore that had to be done, not a lifelong adventure and challenge.

Then, slowly, her spark started coming back.  Very very faint at first.  It started with enjoying history and the Usborne book she had for her Ancient History class–she spent an afternoon reading the entire book.  Took it in the car with us wherever we went so she could read it and look more. 

In January she happily started her Singapore math, book 3B.  3B is a lot more hands on–measurements, map reading and such.  She took it upon herself to measure everything in the house.  She would finish her math exercise in 5 minutes and supplement herself by applying the concepts learned to things around the house.

This week, the girls were bickering about the television(yes, there can be bickering when the only channels they get with kid shows are PBS!  I didn’t know it was possible either).  I was having a stressful day, and made a grand pronouncement that there would be NO TV PERIOD for the remainder of the week(this was Tuesday).  Their usual routine is to watch cartoons for a little while when they first wake up in the morning.  Oh, the week has been a Mommy’s delight:

• On Wednesday I woke up to them playing the card game WAR together while sitting on the heating vent.
• On Thursday they woke up and pretend played together until it was time to start school work.
• On Friday, Emily woke up, grabbed her school books out of the bookcase, and immediately began doing her seat work.  I told her she didn’t have to do it yet(we usually begin school around 8:30 and it was before 7:00)but she insisted she wanted to get it done, so she could play more later.

The spark is coming back!  I am thrilled, and doubley thrilled because when it comes time to start homeschooling her little sister, Emily will be setting a positive example with her desire to learn.  Counting from when Emily left public school, it has taken 8 months to get here.

Oh, and we have a new rule in our house:  1 hour of TV a day during school days, from 4:00-5:00pm. 

We are getting ready to get back in the homeschool groove.  I have planned the first 5 weeks’ lesson plans and we are officially beginning classes on January 8th, the day after her once a week options program(out of the house) begins again.

I am assuming at this point she is officially bored enough, seeing as how she has been picking fights with her sister pretty frequently.

I don’t think I am likely to let this kind of lapse in routine happen again…I think its been hard on everyone.  It’ll definately be much easier when Camille is home full time and we aren’t working around her schedule too.

We’ve been seeing this Santa Claus (the REAL Santa!) since Emily was a screaming 1 year old sitting on his lap.

Hope you have a very Merry Christmas!

“Sissy, you know, your skunk is old.  And old means special!”

—-If only society felt the same way—-