2.  No labels.  Its been 2 years since I started this blog, and I feel rather sheepish about the name.  Granted, if you are coming from a mainstream or public school setting, you would be googling gifted and homeschool in your searches.  However, I have found that I don’t like the label.  It was so so important when Oldest was in public elementary school to have that label–it was the only way to advocate for additional services.  However, now that we’ve been homeschooling for awhile, I hardly think about it.  Oldest is just Oldest.  She’s at where she’s at in her studies.  She’s a 4th grader by age only, and works where she’s at in all of her subjects.  I couldn’t even tell you the grade levels.

1.  From Oldest, yesterday, who told me I was “the best Mommy in the world!” and actually thanked me for homeschooling her. “I like homeschooling.  Its a lot easier to make friends because I have a lot more in common with these kids.  I have a lot more friends.”  I guess that can be summed up as a positive social experience with her peers.  Yes, socialization, that bugger everyone else seems so concerned about, is my daughter’s top reason for homeschooling.

I am so grateful.

Having a disease like multiple sclerosis, you learn that everything about your body is unpredictable.  You can go to bed one night feeling fine, and wake up and not be able to use a hand, or see, or walk well.

Last night I went to bed with what is referred to in the community as “cog fog”-my brain just wasn’t functioning.  I was having trouble with words, remembering what I was doing, processing what was being said to me.  Its been going on for several days.  In fact, Sunday I went grocery shopping, and I locked my keys in the car.  I haven’t done that in 10 years.  I hit a low point that day–I had to write down what I needed to do in order to get my keys, because I was afraid I would forget one of the steps(we don’t have a spare set, I didn’t have a cell phone, I had to walk to the library and wait for them to open in order to look up my car insurance on the internet so I could call the towing service on the library’s public courtesy phone).

This morning, I woke up with mental clarity.  I woke up not feeling like I hadn’t slept. 

I am grateful I can see the mess.  That I can walk to clean the mess.  That I can reason I shouldn’t have to do this several times a day. I can think about how if the oldest 2 were in public school, part of the mess wouldn’t be here. 

I am SO grateful for homeschooling.

This mess won’t be around forever.  Someday, I will have a quiet home that stays relatively neat.  And oh, how much I will  miss the mess then and wish for it.

Fast foward a few years, and our Homeschool program thru a public school district is offering one of the tests that Davidson accepts for free.  While I didn’t really have time to prepare Emily, I figured “What does she have to lose?”  Practice at fill in the bubble testing is not a bad thing, and since its free, if she happens to fall in the range Davidson wants….well, it would open up a lot of doors for her.

So today, I sent my kiddo to her program with 3 sharpened pencils, a calculator, and encouraging words to take the Explore Test.  I”m curious to see how she’ll do–I don’t have an expectation of this fulfilling Davidson’s requirements, as I don’t think this kind of testing is the best indicator of potential, ability, or knowledge.

But if it does, there’s something I can check off my list, and there are some great services for her until she’s 18.

Because those emergency contigencies are extremely important.

We’ll see.

The original fee for this was pretty reasonable for a 6 week activity.  But tack on the cost of costumes, driving to rehearsals, and tickets so hubby and I can watch the play, and we are probably spending $200-$250 combined for the girls to participate.

Not to mention my stress level regarding the costumes(being pregnant really exaserbates things likes this)–I hope the director isn’t going to be irritated that my daughter wants to be a tulle skirt wearing racecar driver.

Is the value for my children worth this, or is the time and money better spent elsewhere?

They have fun.  My 8 year old wishes she was on stage more(and she could’ve been, without lines, if I had been willing to commit more time and costume money) and my 5 year old is just excited to be a part of it.  This week is the big week of the show, where every single day has 4-6 hour time commitments.  But dividing that $100 dollars by 2, they could have each done a week’s camp somwhere else.  Would that have been more fun?  That $200 could have purchased family passes to the Zoo and Museum, with money left over.  Would that have had more of a fun factor?

Then there is the learning.  I would say the big learning here isn’t about stage presence, or acting.  It is that you don’t always get the part you want, and you have to put in a lot of work for even a tiny sliver of stage time.  A good lesson, yes, but worth their only summer activity?  They already know the whole “you don’t always get what you want lesson” from never getting a candy bar in the checkout lane.  Does it really take this kind of committment to learn this lesson?

And yes, we all know “There are no small parts, just small actors”.  Trust me, these conversations about value are not being had with the children, rather between my husband and I.  They committed to being in this play and they are going to do the best darn job they can, and follow thru on their commitment.  Because that is how we role in this family.

But when next summer roles around, you can be sure we will be having a much deeper discussion about time, money, and value with our oldest.

The KP person told me that I would have to pay out of pocket, but could submit the bill for reimbursement.  I asked that it be noted in the chart that I called and did everything right, so when I submitted said payment, I would be reimbursed no problem.

As this was not a life or death situation, I did not want to take Camille to an ER.  I didn’t know of any urgent care in the area, so I called a pediatric practice 40 minutes away.  They could see her that afternoon.  “Great!” I thought, “I’ll save Kaiser money by not going to the ER!”

Now, its 9 months later.  I submitted my paperwork for reimbursement in December(I had misplaced it).  In February, I received paperwork denying my claim.  What grounds?  Code 711:  Service, Procedure or provider not authorized, member liability  .  Whhhhaaaattt???  All my hoop jumping and they are denying my claim?

I hadn’t had a chance to contact Kaiser until today(sick relatives, morning sickness, a family bout of influenza takes it out of a gal).  I called and talked to a nice young man.  Apparently this is standard practice.  You know, not covering something they are liable for, in the hopes that you won’t question the all powerful HMO.

But if I *had* taken her to the ER, they would’ve covered it no questions asked????(so he says—I think I would’ve gotten stuck with the bill b/c it was a “non emergency” and Kaiser is extremely clear about how they feel about ER usage outside of network).

So, by doing research, finding a regular pediatrician to schedule an appointment with, and in essence saving Kaiser at least $1000-$2000 dollars(we are talking Aspen, here) I get the shaft.  I have to jump thru even MORE hoops to get my money.

I have to have my pediatrician “retro-approve” the visit.

Then I have to call claims back and re-argue with them why they need to send me my $169.

Goes to show you—QUESTION EVERYTHING FROM YOUR INSURANCE COMPANY.  THEY AREN’T IN IT TO TAKE CARE OF YOU, THEY ARE IN IT FOR THE MONEY.

There is the universe that revolves around how you appear to society-the send your child to preschool, then to public school, don’t question the system and sign them up for as many after school programs as possible because god forbid they don’t make the cheerleading squad/go to Harvard/play varsity baseball in 10-15 years.   Instead of signing up to bring dinners to those in need/whose family is sick/having a baby/etc, you sign up to bring dinners to those who just had a boob job and tummy tuck.    Conversations with other Moms around the water cooler are often about the best style of 100 dollar jeans to buy, how “fat” everyone is(although they are skinny skinny skinny).  Many of the children all have more “things” than anyone could want but not enough of what they really need.  They rarely say please and thank you, and my 5 year old preschooler has better manners and a longer attention span than many older children. 

Before I really knew about homeschooling, I spent years trying to assimilate into this universe.  Even tho the moral consciousness of this universe did not feel right, I thought I was the one who didn’t know what she was doing and whose ideals were “wrong”.  After all, everyone else thought these things were a necessity.  I tried hard and did what I was supposed to do….sent my child to school, talked about what cosmetic surgery I would like in a few years.  But it never felt right.

When I found my homeschool community, it was an amazing thing.  I never knew there were parents out there like me, who didn’t buy their kid something every time they went to the store, used the word “no” and actually enjoyed being with their children.  I met people who cared about the environment, whose needs were not fueled with keeping up with the Jones’.  And I liked this universe.  It felt like “home” to me.  Its where people don’t do a double take when they find out I homeschool and say “I could never be around my child all day every day.  You must be a saint!”  I can actually talk about composting and recycling and downsizing and simplifying and people GET it.  People understand what it is to have to economize, and instead of a push to purchase something on credit I hear what they are doing to economize as well.  Noone bemoans how poor they are while sipping their daily Starbucks at their weekly nail appointment.  There is much less hypocrisy in this world.

I may sound like I am judging one universe and finding it lacking–on the contrary, it fits many people, and fits them well.  It is a place where they find like minded individuals to talk about what they care about.  Its just a universe that I no longer want to be a large part of.  I will always have friends there–people who don’t quite fit into that universe but  fear leaving it for another one, since that is all they know.

I, on the other hand, am counting down the months until my commitments in that universe are at an end, and I can stay in the one in which I fit.

How many books do you check out at a time?(please, leave a comment and make me feel better)

We stopped school last May at the normal end of year, and just didn’t go back in August.  During the summer, I let Emily veg/play some video games/watch tv to her little hearts content, and we started officially homeschooling at the end of August.

As i watched the months go by, I waited for something….anything to show me she was going to become self motivating again.  To see that DESIRE to learn that she had 2 years ago, before public school beat it out of her.  Nope.  Every day, she would do her school work, but only if I told her to.  I haven’t seen her try to learn extra about anything.  She doesn’t ask for specific books from the library.  Doesn’t ask to research something on the internet.  Good little public school soldier that she is, she does the work she is given, no more, sometimes trying to get away with doing less, regardless of how capable she is of doing and learning so much more.  She will sometimes express an interest in something, and when I ask if she wants to get a book and learn more, she passes.

I resigned myself to the guilt of having allowed this to happen, and that it wasn’t going to change.  She had lost all motivation.  Learning was a chore that had to be done, not a lifelong adventure and challenge.

Then, slowly, her spark started coming back.  Very very faint at first.  It started with enjoying history and the Usborne book she had for her Ancient History class–she spent an afternoon reading the entire book.  Took it in the car with us wherever we went so she could read it and look more. 

In January she happily started her Singapore math, book 3B.  3B is a lot more hands on–measurements, map reading and such.  She took it upon herself to measure everything in the house.  She would finish her math exercise in 5 minutes and supplement herself by applying the concepts learned to things around the house.

This week, the girls were bickering about the television(yes, there can be bickering when the only channels they get with kid shows are PBS!  I didn’t know it was possible either).  I was having a stressful day, and made a grand pronouncement that there would be NO TV PERIOD for the remainder of the week(this was Tuesday).  Their usual routine is to watch cartoons for a little while when they first wake up in the morning.  Oh, the week has been a Mommy’s delight:

• On Wednesday I woke up to them playing the card game WAR together while sitting on the heating vent.
• On Thursday they woke up and pretend played together until it was time to start school work.
• On Friday, Emily woke up, grabbed her school books out of the bookcase, and immediately began doing her seat work.  I told her she didn’t have to do it yet(we usually begin school around 8:30 and it was before 7:00)but she insisted she wanted to get it done, so she could play more later.

The spark is coming back!  I am thrilled, and doubley thrilled because when it comes time to start homeschooling her little sister, Emily will be setting a positive example with her desire to learn.  Counting from when Emily left public school, it has taken 8 months to get here.

Oh, and we have a new rule in our house:  1 hour of TV a day during school days, from 4:00-5:00pm.