The original fee for this was pretty reasonable for a 6 week activity.  But tack on the cost of costumes, driving to rehearsals, and tickets so hubby and I can watch the play, and we are probably spending $200-$250 combined for the girls to participate.

Not to mention my stress level regarding the costumes(being pregnant really exaserbates things likes this)–I hope the director isn’t going to be irritated that my daughter wants to be a tulle skirt wearing racecar driver.

Is the value for my children worth this, or is the time and money better spent elsewhere?

They have fun.  My 8 year old wishes she was on stage more(and she could’ve been, without lines, if I had been willing to commit more time and costume money) and my 5 year old is just excited to be a part of it.  This week is the big week of the show, where every single day has 4-6 hour time commitments.  But dividing that $100 dollars by 2, they could have each done a week’s camp somwhere else.  Would that have been more fun?  That $200 could have purchased family passes to the Zoo and Museum, with money left over.  Would that have had more of a fun factor?

Then there is the learning.  I would say the big learning here isn’t about stage presence, or acting.  It is that you don’t always get the part you want, and you have to put in a lot of work for even a tiny sliver of stage time.  A good lesson, yes, but worth their only summer activity?  They already know the whole “you don’t always get what you want lesson” from never getting a candy bar in the checkout lane.  Does it really take this kind of committment to learn this lesson?

And yes, we all know “There are no small parts, just small actors”.  Trust me, these conversations about value are not being had with the children, rather between my husband and I.  They committed to being in this play and they are going to do the best darn job they can, and follow thru on their commitment.  Because that is how we role in this family.

But when next summer roles around, you can be sure we will be having a much deeper discussion about time, money, and value with our oldest.

Socially?  We agree that Emily is a happy, well adjusted girl who is welcoming to all.   She counts many children as friends(funnily enough, last year she only considered 1 or 2 other kids “friends”).  She interacts well with people of all ages, as recently demostrated at my Grandmother’s funeral, where she played her violin.  The funeral was at the retirement community where Grandma has spent the past 8 years, so many of the other residents were there and spoke to Emily afterwards.   She listened and responded accordingly, thanking them for their kind words.  She has chosen to leave situations with neighborhood children when she wasn’t happy/having a good time/and didn’t like the topic of conversation.

Family Life?  We agree it is WONDERFUL.  The girls get along so much better than they did last year.  They can spend hours playing together.  My husband, with his odd professor hours, gets to spend more time with her.  We have time during the day to go places without dealing with the crowds.

Academically?  Weeeeellll, here’s where I feel a bit guilty. I feel like I am TOO lax, especially lately.  With the pregnancy, flu, and 3 trips to Kansas in less than 3 months, we just have not done a lot of “seat work”.  Does that mean she hasn’t learned?  Absolutely not.  I think she learned more in the first semester of homeschooling than she did the entire year last year.  And I am not exaggerating.  But is she feeling challenged?  Am I doing enough?  Do I need to be more rigid?  Follow a schedule?  We do math, reading, and handwriting every day.  She’s gotten a ton of science, social studies/history/spelling etc on and off thru the year.  She does music every day(practicing violin).  We go to the library weekly and she does gymnastics weekly.  She does Options every Tuesday, and volunteers in the preschool classroom of her sister once a month.  We do Girl Scouts twice a month, Science Club and Book Club once a month(when we are healthy).  She’s learning some computer programming with Dad and they are going to work on fashion incorporating technology(LEDs and such, I think) when finals at the colleges are over.

But I just have a nagging feeling every so often we should be doing MORE, especially since the TV has been on a little too much this week as I’ve recouped from last week’s Kansas trip(it took a huge toll on me physically and emotionally).

I am trying to relax a bit about it, as I have decided we are doing year round school this year(to enable some time off after this baby is born) and I think the summer is prime opportunity for fun unit studies and field trips for both girls, as Camille will be joining us fulltime in June and begin her Kindergarten year.

But then there is that nagging self doubt again that we should be doing more. 

(Or are those pregnancy hormones acting up?)

The KP person told me that I would have to pay out of pocket, but could submit the bill for reimbursement.  I asked that it be noted in the chart that I called and did everything right, so when I submitted said payment, I would be reimbursed no problem.

As this was not a life or death situation, I did not want to take Camille to an ER.  I didn’t know of any urgent care in the area, so I called a pediatric practice 40 minutes away.  They could see her that afternoon.  “Great!” I thought, “I’ll save Kaiser money by not going to the ER!”

Now, its 9 months later.  I submitted my paperwork for reimbursement in December(I had misplaced it).  In February, I received paperwork denying my claim.  What grounds?  Code 711:  Service, Procedure or provider not authorized, member liability  .  Whhhhaaaattt???  All my hoop jumping and they are denying my claim?

I hadn’t had a chance to contact Kaiser until today(sick relatives, morning sickness, a family bout of influenza takes it out of a gal).  I called and talked to a nice young man.  Apparently this is standard practice.  You know, not covering something they are liable for, in the hopes that you won’t question the all powerful HMO.

But if I *had* taken her to the ER, they would’ve covered it no questions asked????(so he says—I think I would’ve gotten stuck with the bill b/c it was a “non emergency” and Kaiser is extremely clear about how they feel about ER usage outside of network).

So, by doing research, finding a regular pediatrician to schedule an appointment with, and in essence saving Kaiser at least $1000-$2000 dollars(we are talking Aspen, here) I get the shaft.  I have to jump thru even MORE hoops to get my money.

I have to have my pediatrician “retro-approve” the visit.

Then I have to call claims back and re-argue with them why they need to send me my $169.

Goes to show you—QUESTION EVERYTHING FROM YOUR INSURANCE COMPANY.  THEY AREN’T IN IT TO TAKE CARE OF YOU, THEY ARE IN IT FOR THE MONEY.

There is the universe that revolves around how you appear to society-the send your child to preschool, then to public school, don’t question the system and sign them up for as many after school programs as possible because god forbid they don’t make the cheerleading squad/go to Harvard/play varsity baseball in 10-15 years.   Instead of signing up to bring dinners to those in need/whose family is sick/having a baby/etc, you sign up to bring dinners to those who just had a boob job and tummy tuck.    Conversations with other Moms around the water cooler are often about the best style of 100 dollar jeans to buy, how “fat” everyone is(although they are skinny skinny skinny).  Many of the children all have more “things” than anyone could want but not enough of what they really need.  They rarely say please and thank you, and my 5 year old preschooler has better manners and a longer attention span than many older children. 

Before I really knew about homeschooling, I spent years trying to assimilate into this universe.  Even tho the moral consciousness of this universe did not feel right, I thought I was the one who didn’t know what she was doing and whose ideals were “wrong”.  After all, everyone else thought these things were a necessity.  I tried hard and did what I was supposed to do….sent my child to school, talked about what cosmetic surgery I would like in a few years.  But it never felt right.

When I found my homeschool community, it was an amazing thing.  I never knew there were parents out there like me, who didn’t buy their kid something every time they went to the store, used the word “no” and actually enjoyed being with their children.  I met people who cared about the environment, whose needs were not fueled with keeping up with the Jones’.  And I liked this universe.  It felt like “home” to me.  Its where people don’t do a double take when they find out I homeschool and say “I could never be around my child all day every day.  You must be a saint!”  I can actually talk about composting and recycling and downsizing and simplifying and people GET it.  People understand what it is to have to economize, and instead of a push to purchase something on credit I hear what they are doing to economize as well.  Noone bemoans how poor they are while sipping their daily Starbucks at their weekly nail appointment.  There is much less hypocrisy in this world.

I may sound like I am judging one universe and finding it lacking–on the contrary, it fits many people, and fits them well.  It is a place where they find like minded individuals to talk about what they care about.  Its just a universe that I no longer want to be a large part of.  I will always have friends there–people who don’t quite fit into that universe but  fear leaving it for another one, since that is all they know.

I, on the other hand, am counting down the months until my commitments in that universe are at an end, and I can stay in the one in which I fit.

How many books do you check out at a time?(please, leave a comment and make me feel better)

The more things change, the more they stay the same.  I remember playing in these same hanging beads as a little girl.  They were my favorite thing about visiting my grandma and grandpa.  They are a favorite of my girls, too.

Even tho she is sick with the flu , she still has a smile and managed to make sure she opened her birthday presents.  Her favorite?  The Native American clothing I made for her.  She’s wearing her new costume right now as she watches PBS.  She insists on cake, even tho she’ll probably only  manage a bite or two.  She keeps sighing and saying “I am so happy I am the birthday girl today”

Unfortunately, the fact that Daddy is now sick with the flu means that it will make its way thru our household and we probably need to cancel her birthday party all set for Saturday.  How disappointing for her.  I am waiting until tomorrow to be sure, but she’s worse today than yesterday, so I figure its a given.

I can’t wait to have her home with  me full time next year.  She is amazingly bright and enthusiastic about learning.  She makes life so much better by just being around her.

We stopped school last May at the normal end of year, and just didn’t go back in August.  During the summer, I let Emily veg/play some video games/watch tv to her little hearts content, and we started officially homeschooling at the end of August.

As i watched the months go by, I waited for something….anything to show me she was going to become self motivating again.  To see that DESIRE to learn that she had 2 years ago, before public school beat it out of her.  Nope.  Every day, she would do her school work, but only if I told her to.  I haven’t seen her try to learn extra about anything.  She doesn’t ask for specific books from the library.  Doesn’t ask to research something on the internet.  Good little public school soldier that she is, she does the work she is given, no more, sometimes trying to get away with doing less, regardless of how capable she is of doing and learning so much more.  She will sometimes express an interest in something, and when I ask if she wants to get a book and learn more, she passes.

I resigned myself to the guilt of having allowed this to happen, and that it wasn’t going to change.  She had lost all motivation.  Learning was a chore that had to be done, not a lifelong adventure and challenge.

Then, slowly, her spark started coming back.  Very very faint at first.  It started with enjoying history and the Usborne book she had for her Ancient History class–she spent an afternoon reading the entire book.  Took it in the car with us wherever we went so she could read it and look more. 

In January she happily started her Singapore math, book 3B.  3B is a lot more hands on–measurements, map reading and such.  She took it upon herself to measure everything in the house.  She would finish her math exercise in 5 minutes and supplement herself by applying the concepts learned to things around the house.

This week, the girls were bickering about the television(yes, there can be bickering when the only channels they get with kid shows are PBS!  I didn’t know it was possible either).  I was having a stressful day, and made a grand pronouncement that there would be NO TV PERIOD for the remainder of the week(this was Tuesday).  Their usual routine is to watch cartoons for a little while when they first wake up in the morning.  Oh, the week has been a Mommy’s delight:

• On Wednesday I woke up to them playing the card game WAR together while sitting on the heating vent.
• On Thursday they woke up and pretend played together until it was time to start school work.
• On Friday, Emily woke up, grabbed her school books out of the bookcase, and immediately began doing her seat work.  I told her she didn’t have to do it yet(we usually begin school around 8:30 and it was before 7:00)but she insisted she wanted to get it done, so she could play more later.

The spark is coming back!  I am thrilled, and doubley thrilled because when it comes time to start homeschooling her little sister, Emily will be setting a positive example with her desire to learn.  Counting from when Emily left public school, it has taken 8 months to get here.

Oh, and we have a new rule in our house:  1 hour of TV a day during school days, from 4:00-5:00pm. 

We arrived around 2:15, and found that, with the nice weather in the 40s, the animals were all out and active.  Well, maybe not ACTIVE.  More like waiting for their keepers at the doors to their enclosures to feed them.  We saw many animals that normally are not out and about when we visit—the arctic foxes and the wolves being ones I have never seen in 10 years of visits to the zoo.

The baby zebras were out and we witnessed 2 of them nursing, then running around on those long skinny legs playing.  The polar bears were quite playful too.  Their swimming hole had a lot of ice on top, so we witnessed the polar bears swimming under the ice and coming out on the ice.  We could see their black skin underneath their white fur.  One of the largest came over to the glass where we were standing and “itched” himself on it.  Very cool.

As always, a trip to the zoo is not complete without a trip to the pacaderm house.  And this time, we learned an extremely interesting fact about the Tapir.  They can shoot poop at least 10 feet.  I kid you not.  Thankfully, we were not the “lucky” recipients of the pooh in the face, but Emily was RIGHT NEXT TO THE CHILD.  We learned first hand why its not a good idea to lick the guard rails(as many children are liken to do).

I wonder if it is a defense mechanism of the Tapir, or for his own private amusement?

He’s grown into a gorgeous dog and is smarter than a whip. He learns commands quickly and potty trained in 4 days(wow). He loves to chase balls and is fiercely loyal, but very gentle with the kids.
Our most recent addition brings us back to two dogs:

Her name is Daisy. She is a 2.5 month old Basset Hound Pug (?) mix. Her mother was living in a Chicken Coop in Southern New Mexico. She was taken to a shelter where she had her litter of puppies. She and her puppies were slated for euthanasia. A day after the puppies were born, someone rescued them all and drove them to an animal sanctuary in Santa Fe, where her mother (a full blooded basset hound) was able to raise her puppies. This past week the mother and 3 of the puppies were transported to the Boulder Valley Humane Society, where we found them. I called the Sanctuary in Santa Fe to talk to them and was told that they believe the father was a black pug that apparently was either owned by the same family as the Basset Hound or lived in the neighborhood.

She is very sweet and extremely mellow (especially for a puppy!). She was a little unsure of us the first day, but is doing great now. She and Loco are really enjoying each other.

While researching the breed (and trying to determine whether she really does look like a Basset/Pug mix), I found that this is considered a designer breed. Yeah. Go figure. And I thought it was just a mutt. They call the mix either a Bassugg or a PuggleHound.

I never realized how much being a dog guardian gives to the kids. While taking care of our sick elderly dogs, the girls learned a lot about patience and compassion. They learned that what was best for our pet was not necessarily what made US happy, but something we had to do as the animal’s custodian. With the newer 2 dogs, they have learned the importance of pet population control, why its important to give unwanted dogs a good home, and take your time and find an animal whose disposition is a good fit for your family. We looked at one extremely adorable dog who unfortunately was scared to death of us. Right now they are learning how to care for something else and the consequence of not keeping an eye on a puppy and picking our toys up.

I am learning that I covet a full nights sleep.